英语经典幽默笑话大全

从古到今，笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松。与此同时，笑话也是人们反对极权和专制制度的有力武器。下面小编整理了几篇经典搞笑的英语笑话及其翻译，希望可以给你的生活带来欢乐!

英语经典幽默笑话一：I Don't Need to Steal Any More

The owner of a large department store went over hisbooks and discovered that his most trusted employee had stolenover a million dollars from the firm.“I want no scandal，” saidthe owner.“I'll just fire you.” The employee replied，“True，I robbed your firm of quitea tidy sum. I now have yachts， a country mansion， jewelry，and every luxury you can think of. I don't need a thing， sowhy hire somebody else and have him start from scratch?

一家大百货店的老板在查帐中发现，他较信任的雇员从公司偷走了一百多万美元。“我不要丑 闻。”老板说。“我只要开除你。”那个雇员回答说：“不错，我是偷了你公司相当一大笔钱。现在我有游 艇、一座乡村别墅、珠宝，以及你能想到的一切 奢侈品。我什么都不需要了，你为什么要再雇个人来，让他 从头做起呢?”

英语经典幽默笑话二：太晚了 It's Too Late

A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

一个医科学生被要求说明他给病人服的那种药的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。” 一分钟后，这个学生问教授：“我可以改正我的回答吗?”教授看看手表，说：“太晚啦，你的病人 已在30秒钟以前死了。”

英语经典幽默笑话三：合理的忧伤

On his deathbed poor Lubin lies; His spouse is in despair; With frequent sobs and mutual cries; They both express their care. “A different cause，”says Parson Sly， “The same effect may give： Poor Lubin fears that he may die ; His wife，that he may live”.

马修∙普赖厄 可怜的鲁宾躺在他的病床里; 他的妻子陷入绝望; 频频啜泣，相对哭啼， 他们都表达着忧伤。 “不同原因，”滑头牧师说， “可产生同样结果： 可怜的鲁宾怕他会死; 他老婆，怕他会活。”